I won't bore you with the details of my very busy week, but just wanted to share that I think I may be coming to that tricky point in life where my feelings and my energy aren't quite in tune with popular expectations, and consequently I can be perceived as behaving inappropriately!
Now, before you get too excited, I don't mean that I am picking up young men in bars, or wearing short skirts and stilettos to do my weekly shop. Nothing that exciting .....
I just mean that when I want something done, I tend to just forge ahead and do it, without necessary stopping to wonder how a 50 something year old women should be seen .
I decided this week to renovate a bedroom here, and the first step was to sand down the floor boards.
Of course I noticed the raised eyebrow when I turned up at the DIY store to rent the floor sanders. This is not my first foray into the wonderful world of floor sanding, and I quickly found the material I needed. When I informed the salesman I'd need double the quantity of sandpaper, I could see he was about to say something, then held back, dubious. He was dying to ask me who'd be using the machines, but couldn't find a way to pop the questions diplomatically.
The same with the gardener, new here. I had foolishly said I'd work alongside him making decisions about the garden as I went. When I wheeled out my barrow complete with fork, spade and pickaxe, he did a quick double take, opened his mouth to say something and thought better of it. After half an hour working together I could see I had gained his confidence and maybe even his respect, but I had to prove myself first.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because it annoys me. I know that people have the best intentions and are kind and thoughtful, but I do not want to be treated like someone who can't handle the task.
I enjoy getting my hands dirty, literally; I enjoy feeling a slight strain at the end of the day, and I love to step back and say to myself "job done, and done quite well at that!"
Of course I know that I'm not as physically strong as I used to be, but in the same way that we don't like to see the inevitable wrinkles invade our face, neither do I like to admit that my field of action will one day narrow.
I'm sure I'm not alone on this one. We have all seen the photo of Katherine Hepburn on a skateboard at 70, and goodness knows the gorgeous Helen Mirren has been defending the cause of the over something woman quite admirably.
But how about you? Do you worry about people's opinion? - enough to affect your behaviour? Are there things you enjoy doing which are unusual for your age? Do you persevere with a sport or a past time, fearful that if you stop it may be hard to start again.
I'd love to hear what you think on this one, please tell me someone else feels like me!
all photos thanks to Google , painting 1 John Lavery, 2 Otto Henry Bacher