At times I feel my 16 year old daughter is rather heavy hearted. Sure she has a loving family, a comfortable home and a great gang of friends but I think she gets worried by the bigger picture.
At school she is given a mountain of work but told that the job market will be hard to get on to, no matter how qualified she is.
At home we do our best to respect the environment around us, but can do nothing about Fukushima sending radio-active clouds our way or about the oceans being filled with rubbish.
You can see where I'm going here ..... economic recession, population explosion, I don't need to give you the details.
So what can we do to help our children be happy, optimistic and dynamic? What do you tell your children? The best I can come up with is to live in a loving and respectful manner, do your best, look for beauty and encourage hope. ..... I'm not sure that it's enough
photo thanks to Flickr
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I really understand what you mean. My daughter is 17 this very day, and yesterday she was no happy girl. Even though one should imagine that she has a life most teenagers in the world would envy, she can most of the time only see problems. Too much homework, bad hair day, silly friends (when they are not the best…), worries about how life is going to be, if she will achieve what she´s aiming for and is she good enough…??? Big questions and very small ones. I can´t remember being young was that difficult.
ReplyDeleteBut I try, as you do, to be positive, listen, say "the right things" and give her love. Maybe we must realise that we don´t have all the answers, but we can be there for them and maybe, maybe that is quite a lot.
Hi
ReplyDeleteThe youngest of my three children is nearly 25 and I feel exactly the same as you when I contemplate their future. I talk to them all every day[sometimes ten times a day if there are more than just the usual issues] because I love them and because I worry about all the things that they worry about.
I would not have and still don't tell my mother my real troubles and that is the generational differance.
I am older than you but I think that the world has changed dramatically in the last 20 years and we parents who have done things by ourselves have a more open relationship with our children. They tend to tell us all because they think [know] we will do everything in our power to fix their problems
My advise is
Listen and tell them the truth but don't cop the responsibility for their future decissions
Tell them to work hard all day every day and if
that doesn't provide them with the success they desire then they need to work harder... it is their life.
MOB
I'm very worried about the future for my boys. I don't feel good about it at all what with high young adult unemployment, steady increase of cost of living, high house prices, etc. And of course the burden of an ageing population, pollution, energy and so on.
ReplyDeleteI get the feeling that we've had the best years and it's going to be a real struggle for our children. I encourage mine to have as wide a vision as possible and that they know I'm there to support them and help them if I can.
BTW
ReplyDeleteLove the look of the strawberry tart and will be sure to try it soon
MOB
I don't have children but it occurs to me that our parents and grandparents worried about the same things. Think of the great recession and wars, they have all done the same to our world and we've always come out of it. So keeping a positive attitude helps a great deal and the best you can do is try.
ReplyDeleteYou spend way too much time listening to the scaremongers and the Malthusians. Turn off the news and open a book. This planet is cleaner and safer than it has been since the Industrial Revolution. Further, the world can sustain more people than the scaremongers would have you believe, as 44% of the earth is uninhabited. That's a great deal of space. I promise you we are not overpopulated no matter what that buffoon Al Gore tells you. Insofar as the global warming nonsense is concerned, again I urge you to study the topic. When I was in grade school, not too long ago we were being warned (and frightened) by a Global Cooling trend. Imagine that? Governments using the environment to frighten people into submission?
ReplyDeleteAnthropogenic global warming is a myth unless you believe that SUVs on Mars are causing warming there too? It's called "weather".
This is the reason my child is home schooled...the nonsense and detritus being spewed in the name of education.
There is a Higher Power that cares about His children. Don't make light of that either, friend.
WE are fine. The world is fine. The galaxy is fine.
Since time immemorial people have been concerned about changes they cannot control. If you don't know who John Malthus or his "followers" the Malthusians are, please google his name. Same 'ol, same 'ol! The world has become a much smaller place with the advent of satellites and the internet. There is information being streamed ad infinitm, day and night. Wars, famine, etc. Nothing new under God's sun, though...
Have peace, Chicken Little, the sky is not falling!
Lovely thoughtful post, there is so much going on in the world at the moment and for the young and older it is hard to make sense of it all.
ReplyDeleteI love you post about hope. Yes above all there is one thing and that is hope. Living moment by moment.
Nature, nature is the best medicine.Nature and Art.And turn of the tv, and the news, and dare I say it - the computer.
ReplyDeleteOur household has also been in the doldrums of late, and I have been trying hard to avoid all the negative stuff after the massive overload of it the first 3 months.
Nature and the simple stuff... I still come back to a good walk in the forest, music, laughter, good food, markets, ....the simple stuff. It helps!
I feel the same way like your daughter so it is not easy for me to tell my boys (10 and 5) that we live in a safe world. I do my share at home in my little family, to make this world a nice/r place to live...and to comfort a child's fear or angst, a long hug or just cudding on the sofa helps often if not always. Talking about it is good, too.
ReplyDeletep.s. i like everything in your blog :)
juli schillinger
This must be a topic that is on the minds of
ReplyDeletemany of us these days. . .
My friends and I had a similar conversation
yesterday, expressing how we are worried by
the conditions of the world!
And we are very concerned for our children and
grandchildren.
I hope love will see us through this!
Hugs to you,
sj
I think it is a perfect foundation. Add to it: Work hard, have faith, find your passion, make goals. We cannot control the big scary world. My son, too, is a worrier. We do our best to allay his fears and fill his heart and mind with good things.
ReplyDeleteWell, I wrote a lovely long post. And it disappeared.
ReplyDeleteTo sum up...One important thing you are doing already is to provide a loving home that is a place of refuge and challenge. She knows that you love her, that you listen to her, and that will help her cope with the future.
We felt it was important to help our children find a sense of purpose - that life here is not random and chaotic. Faith helps.
I'm convinced that almost any career, from fashion design to medical work, to writing, to politics, can be a way to help others become their best. Yes, a career is about self-fulfillment, but also a way to connect with the world around us.
Well, yes bad things happen in this big world, but good things happen too and unfortunately, the media only focuses on the bad stuff. It is our job to show them the good and be optimistic. My experience is that things always work out somehow. I have had some very tough years and what doesn't kill you... You can find some young role models for her through some books. While we can't all be Ann Franks but we can certainly take a page or two of her book (literally) and see beauty in the world and keep hope alive even when the world around you is closing in. Or we can be inspired by people like Helen Keller who, even though blind and deaf, learned to see and hear the beauty of this world. Turn your worrier into a warrior!
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, people have reached out to the suffering people of Japan, the world is more aware of how to conserve, recycle, reuse and repurpose. The young people of North Africa are speaking up for change.
ReplyDeleteThe world is a scary place, true - but we can make it better! The youth of our world are the hope of the future!
Keeping your daughter in my prayers!
I worry about all of this every single day, and I'm far past being a teenager anymore. I always use this mantra: "Think about what you CAN do, and do it. Don't worry about what you CAN'T do." In cases where I feel really motivated to DO more, I'll research and find the best way I can make a difference with my gifts and talents and resources, and that's what I'll support.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's this: "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." - Mother Teresa
you gotta have FAITH........
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteIm new to this blog but i have been using your strawberry tart recipe many times (and the custard recipe even more :) thank you! :)
I had a son a year back, and my hubby and I are fairly political and active as such. I have been worried but have found my life is easier without radio, TV and newspapers. I still look online for specific events, but want my child to grow up without the stresses that these media can put on us. I, especially, get angsty and sad over news i cant do anything about, so we live as good as we can; recycle etc etc but generally, books, some movies and art is our lifestyle with him. I feel calmer too :)
Try it for a month, see how you go!
Its hard at first but suddenly comes some sort of relief... :)
xxx thank for a great blog!