My French Country Home by Sharon Santoni

Monday, 31 May 2010

to keep or not to keep

You only have to browse a few lovely blogs or glossy magazines to know how deep rooted our attachment to objects can be.  We spend hours hunting out that particular tone of blue in a vase, the painting that will look just right over the fireplace, or the teacup that we're most comfortable using every morning.



But sometimes  these objects take on a different importance, they become something more than the materials used to make them.

Recently my youngest son decided, in a moment of uncharacteristic tidyness, to sort his room, and proceeded to eject on to the landing piles of things that he had grown out of.  I applauded his ability to take big decisions, but when I started to pack up the displaced objects, I found I had a problem.




Among the pile were a lot of books whose titles  hid more behind their words than just a story.  They held memories of rainy afternoons in front of the fire,  precious moments at the end of the day before going to sleep, progress made in leaps and bounds while learning to read.  Shared laughter over a funny poem, and shared disbelief at an outlandish tale.





So instead of sensibly finding new homes for this pile of paper, many books have been  lovingly put away , protected in tissue paper and heavy trunks.  It helps that we have a large barn to store stuff but even though I know why I did it, I'm still not convinced it was the right thing.


So, to keep or not to keep, to grow attached or to use and forget.
When do you decide to throw things out? 




photos 2 Dr Zeuss 3 Beatrix Potter

15 comments:

  1. I loved this post... it's so true. Sometimes I get really strong and decisive and let things go only to regret it years later. It's tough. I think it's wise to put it away a bit longer though if your gut is not quite ready... especially when you have a barn :)
    How old is your son? I always had to prompt mine to edit his belongings.
    xo

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  2. Oh Sharon I know how you must have felt and I think you did the right thing to put it away and save it for your son's children :)
    Hugs
    Erna

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  3. I can relate! It's difficult to surrender books and other objects of affection when they're well attached to memory.

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  4. Oh Sharon! I'm the type of girl who when decides to clean....just clean and put away a lot of stuff. But books...I still have all my childhood books and will never put them away. I can throw away many things, but not books!

    Hugs!
    Mara

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  5. I found your beautiful blog on Coty Farquahar's sidebar. I so much enjoyed looking through, and seeing all your pictures of the lovely area in which you live. I understand how you must feel about the books. I think the right thing to do is to hold onto them for a while. When my son was a teenager, and we were moving house, he decided himself when it was time to donate the ones he did not wish to keep. They went to a college library which had a program to supply them to the students who were going to be elementary school teachers. Your son will know when it is time.

    Scribbler
    http://scribbler-unfocused.typepad.com/

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  6. Sharon,

    Organizing and helping people purge comes easy for me, but not when it comes to children's books, or any books for that matter. I would have had to squirrel those away also.

    My children's books are all packed away waiting for the day.....except a few of my favorite classics, they are proudly displayed on a bookshelf in the guest room. So many guests discover them and enjoy them and we have such great conversations over breakfast retelling childhood memories.

    You did right by "hoarding" : }

    Suzan

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  7. Tough one Sharon...I hate to throw out because you just never know.
    Especially children's books. You are right, there are so many memories wrapped up in them, you just want to hold on tight. I say, store away, someday you will be glad you did, I am sure of it!!

    Jeanne:)

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  8. I am not a good person to talk to about throwing things out as I find it virtually impossible! I get emotionally attached to amost everything. Putting the books away was a great decision as there always comes a time when a person wants to see those stories again :)

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  9. My children did the same thing but I put them in boxes and have kept them. We have an old bookcase in the basement that is now filled with children's books and they look for special ones when they are home (they are now 27 and 25) and have often asked if I gave the rest away. I tell them that there are still boxes unpacked so maybe one of these days, they will have children who will come along and enjoy them. It's easier donating our books than theirs.

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  10. Oh how very smart to keep these treasured books! You won't be sorry as they will bring back so many warm memories. xo

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  11. One simply can't get rid of children's books that preserve treasured memories....it just can't be done. I applaud your decision to put them away somewhere safe. I still go home to my parents' house and read the old books I loved as a child. My mother keeps them all on a shelf in a guest room, and nothing makes better bedtime reading, even when we're 'adults'.
    bon soir!

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  12. I have a hard time with this! I keep most books; There are so many memories attached,you wrote
    so well, about! It is a tough call, I also have a hard time with my children's art. I tend to sometimes take photos of their work and put in a scrapbook. I think it is a legacy to pass on, the cherished words, from your son's childhood! It also might be fun to write a journal to him with your memories. It would be a wonderful gift someday, when he has a child to pass on!

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  13. you have absolutely catagorically done the right thing....i often think...just because a child has grown out of a book...it doesnt mean the family has....store them in that beautiful big old barn...& maybe someday your son's children will be snuggling up in front of that fire with you...& those same wonderful books...
    melissa x
    ps -does anyone ever really grow out of doctor seuss??? not in this ol'house...

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  14. It is so hard. When I get really tough I often regret it later. If I am not tough enough, I often regret it later!

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  15. Good move not tossing your son's books out quite yet Sharon. I kept a couple of faves of each of my boys & haven't regretted it. In fact Son #4 saw his all-time favourite, Hairy McClary From Donaldson's Dairy the other day in the spare room & whooped with delight. He's 28 & it was too gorgeous seeing him standing reciting the whole HC ditty by heart!
    Millie ^_^

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